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He had my attention. Still, disenchanted by dating - online and off - I half-expected Mr Forward to be five feet tall and years-old. Who knew if his pictures were current or if he had built his entire profile on a foundation of fibs?
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Let me just digress to tell you that there are more than a few men in the land of online dating who claim to live in the desert - but also enjoy moonlight walks every night - on the beach. Honest to God. It was a Monday. I had sent a breezy text suggesting we meet at 5pm at a well-lit bar. I was wearing the outfit I had worn in my profile picture, perhaps to prove that I had posted a picture taken within at least the past decade.
It was also a good hair day, my hairdresser having redeemed himself with fabulous beachy highlights just in case a moonlight walk was in the cards. Like a Bob Seger song. Unless he had borrowed it just for our first date, this was a good sign. He was sitting at the bar, staring ahead, and I watched him watch me out of the corner of his eye as I walked the plank all the way from the front door to where he sat. Over beers and banter, we sized each other up and over-shared, checking off those boxes our middle-aged online personas had created. He loved Bob Dylan.
The Harley was his.
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Virtuality was becoming reality and although I was sceptical - sorry, musicians, but you have a reputation to uphold - I was also smitten. The bar closed, and off we went to another. Having read and committed to memory the FAQ section of the online dating site, I knew this was another red flag. First dates that are too long or turn into second dates on the same night are deemed more likely to create a premature and false sense of intimacy.
Too much too soon, the experts say. A match made in heaven? There is no wrong time. As for the rest of the story? The rest of the story is for me. And for him. As Rob Reiner reminded me in his tribute to Nora Ephron:. Because I know you want to know, I asked him what compelled him to be forward in the first place. He says he thought the woman in the picture was looking directly at him.
She is director of education innovation at the Arizona Charter Schools Association, and has been recognised for her work in school reform and her activism on immigration.
She blogs at Considering the Lilies. Read more of her articles for Irish Times Abroad here. Receive a weekly newsletter covering emigration issues and stories from the Irish diaspora.
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